Only At the Cafe… – Podium Cafe

I have no idea how to structure this post so I’m just gonna get into it. Things got kind of strange at times, probably a function of American fans in our Editors’ circle. When your favorite sport delivers the best it has before lunch, you have all sorts of time to indulge the ideas knocking around your head. Keep in mind that the online cycling content alternatives consisted of CyclingNews and VeloNews, not known for weird humor (stupid editorial standards!). A lot of our ideas seemed to get ripped off over the years, or maybe they weren’t so original such that the similarities were inevitable. I don’t even need to cite the FSA Directeur Sportif, our fantasy cycling game that Clydesdale and I dreamt up and SuperTed Supercharged into the current staple it has become. Anyway, stuff we got up to, you can find elsewhere now.

But some items, nobody was going there but us.

The Grisly Death of Girbecco

The 2009 Giro d’Italia was a memorable affair, as the organizers threw themselves a 100th birthday party, full of special events. The race switched its general orientation, starting in Venice and staying up north before finishing in Rome. It included a Milan criterium, a Coppi stage from Cuneo to Pinerolo, the resurrectioin of the Block Haus, a climb of Vesuvio, and a concluding time trial ending at the Roman Colosseum. To spice it up further, the Giro brought on a mascot, Girbecco, and… I don’t know why we became so obsessed with him(?) but we did.

After several posts seeking commentary from the cartoon goat of the Apennines, where Girbecco was given space to chirp our coverage, we then decided that the whole thing was a huge success and began lobbying the Tour de France to come up with its own mascot. Hearing nothing, we did the job for them. And I present…Tourbecco.

Then, well, things got dark. First, Girbecco was reported missing the night of the Rome stage, with little information to go on. Tragically, his murdered body was found a couple days later, under bizarre circumstances. The following week, Tourbecco was introduced to the media in France, and displayed his own brand of edgy commentary not unlike his cousin. He then participated in covering the 2009 Tour de France, but shortly after he too went missing. Rumors started flying about who was or was not a zombie, and whether Tourbecco’s death was staged. Vueltabecco went into hiding shortly after being unveiled in Madrid, and has remained out of the public eye. The Becco family had suffered enough. But nobody could forget the haunting images from that time.

It was a very distressing time for the sport. Fortunately, the various events wound up in the Italian justice system, where the matter is still pending after a series of convictions and reversals.

[All images by Crashdan, to the best of my recollection.]

Playing With Dolls

Not all of the long-running hijinx here involved acts of extreme violence. One of the sport’s compelling characters in 2009 was Heinrich Haussler, a dual citizen who shared German Cycling’s love of hair styling with Australian Cycling’s … Australian-ness. With a great season, Haussler was in the news enough for us to find out that his nickname was Barbie, because of the Ken doll hair look. But we couldn’t ignore the Aussie cliché opportunity, and before long Barbie Barbie was born. And brought to life.

The full Adventures of Barbie Barbie seems to be inactive but several editions can be found here, here, and here.

Know Your Cow

WillJ, a/k/a CyclingChallenge (@cyclingalps) is a presence all his own, the most active member when it comes to exploring the famous climbs of the Tour de France, plus all the hidden ones you really need to know about. If you have a checklist of iconic roads to tackle yourself, chances are Will has ridden them and will happily give you the download on what you need to know. Visit his wonderful website or follow him on social media for a sense of what I mean.

But by far his most unique contribution was introducing us to the real inhabitants of the Alps. And they Pyrénées. And the Dolomites.

Will J

Mountain passes look like fun in spring (sometimes) and summer, but they aren’t generally human-friendly on a large, year-round scale, for all the obvious logistical reasons. You know who doesn’t need roads, or restaurants, or walkable shopping? These guys. The bovine inhabitants of Europe’s large mountain ranges have all they need in each other and plenty of delicious, delicious grass. They do seem to find the summertime trickle of humans entertaining, however, and Will — having spent about as much time at their altitude as to qualify for Swiss citizenship — has discovered what makes them entertaining as well. Any Belgian could have told you that cows and bikes are inseparable, but to the North Americans (outside of Colorado), this was news.

Enter the Cow Calendar. Let me emphasize that this was not a Podium Cafe bit, it was all Will. But we were happy to host any and all of Will’s photo projects. The Cow Calendar existed every year through 2023 (AFAIK) and sold online to Cafe-sters and others. I had one on my office wall and got a couple requests from co-workers for the purchasing info. I’m counting on Will to add in whatever he wishes to share.

And then there were the Marmottes…

Marmottes Without Contracts

Inevitably, Will’s love of mountain creatures met Majope’s love of dolls. There was an additional tie-in via the FSA DS, where Will’s teams carried the Marmotte name and… well, Majope was not going to just let that pass. She adroitly seized upon the pitiful performance of the Lady Marmottes, Will’s 2011 Women’s DS team, as the team members opened a dialog with their disappointed (or complicit) directeur. These riders were largely left off of the next iteration of Will’s team and the Marmottes Without Contracts series was born. See the midseason check-in, and don’t miss the series finale… a star-studded affair!

The Binary Nature of Existence

Are you sensing a trend? Like, that maybe Cycling is about bigger things than just winning races? And that, with Majope’s help, they can be best explained through dolls? Through the White Unicorn and the Black Unicorn, who are still available for advice concerning your team. Some gifts just keep on giving. Although I asked both about Tadej Pogacar, and while the White Unicorn was supportive, the Black Unicorn told me to stay away, in no uncertain terms. Does it know something about the 2025 pricing? Never underestimate the Black Unicorn’s access to life’s hidden secrets.

To be fair, before they became fantasy savants, the Unicorns were known for their commentary on the sport’s big questions. Everyone has a little good and bad in them, whether they know it or not. And while we could see shades of it on our TV screens, the Unicorns helped us go deeper in exploring the many shades of cycling morality.

And Now For Something Completely Different: A Look Back At Civility

Risking getting into humblebrag world here but one of the first things I bring up when talking about the site is how civil the community is. Some of what I know about this is second hand — people coming in here and saying that they are glad to have found a more positive space than wherever they came from. I can’t confirm those descriptions, but I do know very well that the tone is a big thing. Always has been. A few things to consider…

• Timing is a part of it. By the time things got rolling here in 2006, even in the early stages of social media we had been through a few spasms of incivility to see what the negative potential was for disrespectful behavior was. We weren’t so green as to ignore the issue. But we didn’t just lash out at anyone who crossed a line. Not because we are therapists by training, but because of him. He who must not be named. Rhymes with Schmance Shmarmstrong.
• Just about everyone coming here in those early years was spurred on by Armstrong, the dominant figure in the sport — even registering in American pop culture — from the start of the new millennium, and still hovering over it in 2006, retired or no. Most American fans loved Armstrong at some point, but the doping murmurs were deafening, and we parachuted into a divided atmosphere. It quickly became apparent that people had intractable positions and disagreement was baked into the community, so we forbid commenters from bringing up either Lance or doping generally in certain places, particularly the live threads. Here, preserved for posterity, were The Lance Rules. We created posts specifically for people to wade into the controversy (see What We Talk About When We Talk About Lance), creating a venting space rather than letting it pop up where it wasn’t welcomed. So yes, we owe Armstrong a wry thanks for making us reckon with civility practices.
• Oh, and I would be remiss for not giving some credit to the nature of Cycling. Compared to ball sports, there are a lot more heroes than villains, to the average fan. Cycling teams used to have stronger national identities and it was possible to exult over the home crew, while disdaining everyone else. But it’s not a sport where you have to pick sides. I personally find myself rooting for about half of the big names. Or I did before we started playing the FSA DS anyway. But you get my point — there isn’t the built-in compulsion to pick sides and attack, not to the degree of ball sports.
• But a lot of the positivity is just a reflection of the personalities at the Cafe. I think I’m a pretty positive person, for better or worse. Gavia too. Jens, by Scandinavian standards, is downright ebullient. Conor, Andrew, Douglas Ansel — the editors have tended toward the light side. That matters.
• Finally there are THE Editors, people who actually assumed some editorial responsibility, or spent enough time commenting or posting as to gain a sort of de facto leadership place here. I don’t want to try to name them all, but let’s just say we have people across Europe and North America who were capable of upholding the site’s civility rules. For practical purposes, the geography part mattered. When tempers flared, someone was usually able to respond and defuse it quickly. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up on west coast time having slept through the occurrence and resolution of a potential conflict. Had it been up to me, the comment threads would have burned to the ground before I could respond. Don’t underestimate how important this was!

So that is some background. I am grateful to everyone over the decades who came to this site with the right spirit, or at least found it quickly, and contributed to it being the friendly confines that it has been. I take pride in there being some more prickly personalities that eventually were brought around to our ways, which I can understand is not easy. Text isn’t a suitable substitute for in-person communication, especially among strangers. I get that it’s easy to take things the wrong way (you might be surprised to learn just how defensive I can be? or maybe not), and not just reflexively make the effort to turn around a negative interaction. So I appreciate people’s ability to make this as pleasant as it has been, whether that came naturally or through deliberate effort.

*****

Please feel free to bring up other nonsense that happened here, I am sure I am forgetting plenty. Oh and I love that this post will live on the front page indefinitely.